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Independently ME❤

I celebrated my own Independence the other day.

I woke up to a knowing that Independence was already in me.

I woke up to an understanding that Independence is about being able to be ok with everything that I already am…even if it’s something I desire to see improve.

Independence is about seeing yourself when no one else can. I think it’s when you see the clearest. ❤

Life can bring you to a mountain of rubble. Removing it from the path is a big job… but definitely worth the energy.❤

The Many Choices in the Sea of Energy

When I was a little girl I was pretty good at Art. But it wasn’t until I wrote a short story that made my classmates laugh that I understood passion. When I wrote the short story I had such a great time. My imagination felt good to me because it also made someone else happy.

When I got older, I wrote for myself and shared nothing because I wasn’t feeling much of anything good.

Now, I  write to understand myself, to fairly represent others when I feel I’ve let my feelings stand in for truth, and just because it keeps me going. It’s hard not to know what to write. It’s harder to be transparent.

A soulmate told me many years ago, ‘ Never to try to understand anyone.’

I gain a new understanding of what he meant all the time. What it means to me today is…, ‘ If I can’t understand others, why would I expect anyone to understand me?!?’

Lol

Thank God I can still draw.

=)

I’ll draw a picture of me sharing my words with understanding all around me.

I’ll draw a rainbow with me smiling underneath it, and a laughing friend that found me.

I’ll draw great expectations from kind friends from EVERY nation.

I’ll draw them frequently tuning in with understanding AND laughter on EVERY station.

I’ll draw their faces finally understanding that I AM many things MORE than, sad!

I’ll draw all the LOVE they make me feel stacked upon all the LOVE ever had.

I’ll draw that vision way up high, like a stairway to the sky.

I’ll race to the top the sail back down like a bird just learned to fly.

 

Awesome vibes will be my expression.  No more misunderstood confession.

Art… a bridge to my voice.

A most appealing choice.

Transforming Energy

I faced the world today. I wanted to be brave and not seem as if I don’t care that the world faces some despair. I don’t like all the anger or pain we gain. Enough to make a world insane. I wanted to be LOVE and Light. I tried…

but then I remembered that my own close friend took words I shared with hopes of positivity out of context and uses them in a way, perhaps just to say…

WORDS can become weapons even when they were written in LOVE.

And of course it’s true…

The Bible has been used outside of what most believe is intended, and therefore has lost all meaning to a mass of people.

Today I got up, no meditation, the world on my mind, and began the negative self talk of…:

‘ There has to be something you can do’

‘ Look at all the others who care and their actions, what will YOU do ?!? ‘

And without thinking I reached into a reasonable place of habit and joined the cycle of action. I hit post. And immediately my back became tight, my head started spinning, my stomach started churning, grumbling and complaining… I didn’t understand. Aren’t I supposed to leave some form of proof that I’m still living, and LOVING, and aware? Will my kids look back someday and wonder what I did to help?

I thought that last inner dialogue would free me from some of the pain by body was beginning to experience but instead I gained a headache and began to panic, searching for some Spiritual Teacher’s LOVE to calm me down. All of THAT, was my body’s way of reminding me of what no longer serves me. I didn’t have to feel guilt because those that are out there pushing awareness have their journey and I have mine. I have a way that I contribute. It doesn’t have to be seen, and there will still be those whose LOVE for me will be steadfast also. 💗 And at the end of the day, those who wrap their arms around me and breathe me in because they understand my truth are my legacy of LOVE.

I knew I’d have to remove my words. I didn’t want to leave them behind out of pride or fear of what I would appear by deleting them. I decided to take a moment for meditation, wanting to see clearly how to undo my actions. My mind wouldn’t settle feeling I’d been irresponsible when all I truly desire is everyone’s happiness. Still, I stayed put waiting again for the silence that frees the mind and soul.

Blame ran around in my head saying you’re never going to balance this out!

But I’ve had enough of blaming myself or anyone else for anything. ❤️ I just want my LOVE to be felt. I don’t want to have to say anything. I just want to share a touch, or a gift, or an I LOVE YOU. I want my heart inside to become so pure it radiates out farther than my eye can see. Today I decided, THAT, is what I choose to be. And how I’ll let God work through me.

LOVING again is happiness.

Transforming Energy

I faced the world today. I wanted to be brave and not seem as if I don’t care that the world faces some despair. I don’t like all the anger or pain we gain. Enough to make a world insane. I wanted to be LOVE and Light. I tried…

but then I remembered that my own close friend took words I shared with hopes of positivity out of context and uses them in a way, perhaps just to say…

WORDS can become weapons even when they were written in LOVE.

And of course it’s true…

The Bible has been used outside of what most believe is intended, and therefore has lost all meaning to a mass of people.

Today I got up, no meditation, the world on my mind, and began the negative self talk of…:

‘ There has to be something you can do’

‘ Look at all the others who care  and their actions, what will YOU do ?!? ‘

 

And without thinking I reached into a reasonable place of habit and joined the cycle of action. I hit post. And immediately my back became tight, my head started spinning, my stomach started churning, grumbling and complaining… I didn’t understand. Aren’t I supposed to leave some form of proof that I’m still living, and LOVING, and aware? Will my kids look back someday and wonder what I did to help?

I thought that last inner dialogue would free me from some of the pain by body was beginning to experience but instead I gained a headache and began to panic, searching for some Spiritual Teacher’s LOVE to calm me down. All of THAT, was my body’s way of reminding me of what no longer serves me. I didn’t have to feel guilt because those that are out there pushing awareness have their journey and I have mine. I have a way that I contribute. It doesn’t have to be seen, and there will still be those whose LOVE for me will be steadfast also. 💗 And at the end of the day, those who wrap their arms around me and breathe me in because they understand my truth are my legacy of LOVE.

I knew I’d have to remove my words. I didn’t want to leave them behind out of pride or fear of what I would appear by deleting them. I decided to take a moment for meditation, wanting to see clearly how to undo my actions. My mind wouldn’t settle feeling I’d been irresponsible when all I truly desire is everyone’s happiness. Still, I stayed put waiting again for the silence that frees the mind and soul.

Blame ran around in my head saying you’re never going to balance this out!

But I’ve had enough of blaming myself or anyone else for anything. ❤️ I just want my LOVE to be felt. I don’t want to have to say anything. I just want to share a touch, or a gift, or an I LOVE YOU. I want my heart inside to become so pure it radiates out farther than my eye can see. Today I decided, THAT, is what I choose to be. And how I’ll let God work through me.

LOVING again is happiness.